Life.Hope.Love.
What if the world is going to end today? What if a family member of yours had just passed away? What if the person I loved so much passed away and I couldn't even tell her for the last time that I care for her? What if ?
So often we will "What if...."
But when will we actually realise that that 'what ifs' could actually come true and what will our reaction be?
Will we blame God ? Will we blame ourselves and regret the rest of our lives? Well , that depends on how ready your spirit is for whatever that is striving ahead of you.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Look away.
Life.Hope.Love.
I liked this guy once when I was in high school. But everytime I looked at him , all I want to do is look away. It's not that I am stalking him or something , it's just that I don't like myself liking him. He is like the guy of every girl's dreams and I am just a normal freaky girl. I think he doesn't even know that I exist !
After a hard game of volleyball , man am i sweating the fluid out of me or what. I went to my locker to get some stuff before heading towards the washroom , and there I saw him .... making out with another girl , who is like the most popular girl in school. At that time all I want to do was look away but how could I ? It took me all the strength I had to just look away and all that is inside me was pain so painful that i was trembling all the way home. All I prayed was "God , please take away this pain in me. I don't want to feel this way , it hurts to even think about it. God , please."
The next day was harder for me to not think about cause everyone in the whole school , literally everyone and everywhere I go , people are talking about that incident. Well , who could resist talking about it anyway? The hottest guy in school making out with THE hottest girl in school. It's like the perfect match or something. Then he walking down the hallway ,, like every other day all the girls start falling head over heels for him and starts being jealous towards the girl whom he maked out the day before for having him. It was like she stole the most expensive jewellery from them or something. But as usual , I just open my locker and just act as if I was looking for something that was missing. Because all I want to do back then was to just look away.
Everyday makes it harder for me not to think about it cause its everyday they will be making out , wether it is at the water fountain or at his locker. And as usual , all the girls that walk pass them would just stare disgusted at the girl and her only. But again I look away cause I know that when I actually watch them , I would stare at them all day and people would start laughing at me cause they will know that I like him. Hello?? Who will not laugh knowing that a girl like me likes THE hottest guy in school. So , all I did was look away.
To push that hurt so that I will not feel it , I looked away.
I liked this guy once when I was in high school. But everytime I looked at him , all I want to do is look away. It's not that I am stalking him or something , it's just that I don't like myself liking him. He is like the guy of every girl's dreams and I am just a normal freaky girl. I think he doesn't even know that I exist !
After a hard game of volleyball , man am i sweating the fluid out of me or what. I went to my locker to get some stuff before heading towards the washroom , and there I saw him .... making out with another girl , who is like the most popular girl in school. At that time all I want to do was look away but how could I ? It took me all the strength I had to just look away and all that is inside me was pain so painful that i was trembling all the way home. All I prayed was "God , please take away this pain in me. I don't want to feel this way , it hurts to even think about it. God , please."
The next day was harder for me to not think about cause everyone in the whole school , literally everyone and everywhere I go , people are talking about that incident. Well , who could resist talking about it anyway? The hottest guy in school making out with THE hottest girl in school. It's like the perfect match or something. Then he walking down the hallway ,, like every other day all the girls start falling head over heels for him and starts being jealous towards the girl whom he maked out the day before for having him. It was like she stole the most expensive jewellery from them or something. But as usual , I just open my locker and just act as if I was looking for something that was missing. Because all I want to do back then was to just look away.
Everyday makes it harder for me not to think about it cause its everyday they will be making out , wether it is at the water fountain or at his locker. And as usual , all the girls that walk pass them would just stare disgusted at the girl and her only. But again I look away cause I know that when I actually watch them , I would stare at them all day and people would start laughing at me cause they will know that I like him. Hello?? Who will not laugh knowing that a girl like me likes THE hottest guy in school. So , all I did was look away.
To push that hurt so that I will not feel it , I looked away.
Daddy , I'm scared.
Life.Hope.Love.
Whenever I feel scared I would run to my dad.No doubt.In the middle of the night , I would knock lightly on his' room door with my red-brownish bear in my right hand. Slightly pushing the door forward and walking slowly to daddy's bed and climbed up and gave a slight push to daddy. His eyes were tired but opened slowly a I stared at him with fear.
"Daddy , I am scared. I had a bad dream that you would leave me when I am sleeping." Tears started to roll down my cheeks as those words came out.
"Nonsense. Why would I leave you? You are my little sweetie pie."He carried me towards him and started to tickle me like always especially whenever I am scared or sad. I laughed my usual cheeky laugh. This is why daddy never fails me whenever I run to him when I have problems.
Years past by in a blink of an eye and I had just turned 16 a few days back. I know you will think that I am still childish going to my dad for my problems but hey , whenever I fail he never fails me. I remember that time when I was having trouble with my relationship with Malenie , my best friend.
"Daddy , I'm scared. What if I actually loose Malenie? She is all I have in school , dad. She is the one I go to whenever I have school problems. Daddy , I really love her and I don't want to loose her."I started broke down and cry.
"Daddy , I don't know what to do."I was so confused and feared so much that that pain in me was beyond hurt. Tears were like pouring out from me everyday.
"My child , don't be sad. You know that this is just a phase of life. Be strong and keep running. Daddy's girl is a strong and brave girl. The girl who will bring strength to others and hope to the weak."
These are the words I have kept in my heart for all these years and everyday my daddy tells me more.Do you know why ? Because my daddy is my Daddy that is in Heaven.
Whenever I feel scared I would run to my dad.No doubt.In the middle of the night , I would knock lightly on his' room door with my red-brownish bear in my right hand. Slightly pushing the door forward and walking slowly to daddy's bed and climbed up and gave a slight push to daddy. His eyes were tired but opened slowly a I stared at him with fear.
"Daddy , I am scared. I had a bad dream that you would leave me when I am sleeping." Tears started to roll down my cheeks as those words came out.
"Nonsense. Why would I leave you? You are my little sweetie pie."He carried me towards him and started to tickle me like always especially whenever I am scared or sad. I laughed my usual cheeky laugh. This is why daddy never fails me whenever I run to him when I have problems.
Years past by in a blink of an eye and I had just turned 16 a few days back. I know you will think that I am still childish going to my dad for my problems but hey , whenever I fail he never fails me. I remember that time when I was having trouble with my relationship with Malenie , my best friend.
"Daddy , I'm scared. What if I actually loose Malenie? She is all I have in school , dad. She is the one I go to whenever I have school problems. Daddy , I really love her and I don't want to loose her."I started broke down and cry.
"Daddy , I don't know what to do."I was so confused and feared so much that that pain in me was beyond hurt. Tears were like pouring out from me everyday.
"My child , don't be sad. You know that this is just a phase of life. Be strong and keep running. Daddy's girl is a strong and brave girl. The girl who will bring strength to others and hope to the weak."
These are the words I have kept in my heart for all these years and everyday my daddy tells me more.Do you know why ? Because my daddy is my Daddy that is in Heaven.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
HAPPPY BIRTHDAY JESS !!!!!
Life.Hope.Love.
It's someone's birthday today and that someone sleeps beside me everyday of my life. haha... Happy Birthday to my awesomess sis , Jessamine chong !!!
haha
hope you enjoyed your birthday ..=)
love you loads darls !
It's someone's birthday today and that someone sleeps beside me everyday of my life. haha... Happy Birthday to my awesomess sis , Jessamine chong !!!
haha
hope you enjoyed your birthday ..=)
love you loads darls !
Friday, October 9, 2009
If you could only see what is in front of you.
Life.Hope.Love.
I saw him in the corridor.
I wanted to say hi but was afraid to.
Look at that sweet smile and those cute dimples.
Those hazel brown eyes.
Oh gracious !
He is turning this way.. I turned around and was dumbly flipping through my Chemistry textbook
All those words were like flashing images..
He is walking this way... goodness... my heart is beating like a typhoon!
I turned with my back facing him and started walking down the hallway as fast as I can
I was basically running down the hallway and my books started to fall one by one
"Gah ! Why now ?! " I told myself
I could feel the stares on me now and never in my whole life , I feel like a huge tomato
Picking those books up and rushed down my old Toyota that I've got for my 16th birthday
"Pheww... that was so scary ! "
Then I heard a knock on my fogged up glass window
I rolled them down and ... GOODNESS !
IT'S HIM .... with my Chemistry book ?
"Hey,you dropped this down the hallway. "
"Th-th-th..."
"Thank you? No prob."
I just stared there like a dumb 5th grader
"Erm... okay then. Catch you later.... Lisa right? "
I nodded.What else could I do? Make a fool out of myself again?
Look at those dimples again. Boy am I crazy or what?
He smiled and waved while I just smiled back there like a fool.
If only you know how I feel about you and what is in front of you.
I saw him in the corridor.
I wanted to say hi but was afraid to.
Look at that sweet smile and those cute dimples.
Those hazel brown eyes.
Oh gracious !
He is turning this way.. I turned around and was dumbly flipping through my Chemistry textbook
All those words were like flashing images..
He is walking this way... goodness... my heart is beating like a typhoon!
I turned with my back facing him and started walking down the hallway as fast as I can
I was basically running down the hallway and my books started to fall one by one
"Gah ! Why now ?! " I told myself
I could feel the stares on me now and never in my whole life , I feel like a huge tomato
Picking those books up and rushed down my old Toyota that I've got for my 16th birthday
"Pheww... that was so scary ! "
Then I heard a knock on my fogged up glass window
I rolled them down and ... GOODNESS !
IT'S HIM .... with my Chemistry book ?
"Hey,you dropped this down the hallway. "
"Th-th-th..."
"Thank you? No prob."
I just stared there like a dumb 5th grader
"Erm... okay then. Catch you later.... Lisa right? "
I nodded.What else could I do? Make a fool out of myself again?
Look at those dimples again. Boy am I crazy or what?
He smiled and waved while I just smiled back there like a fool.
If only you know how I feel about you and what is in front of you.
Neither hot nor cold.
Life.Hope.Love.
So scary right that sometime you are just neither hot nor cold. Hahaha... whenever I find myself that way I am quite scared that I will stay that way.In the bible is like God said that He rather let us be hot or cold then be luke-warms .... scary la dei ! Sometimes I need God to just give me a push to step out of luke-warmness... a push hard enough to make me realize where I am in life. Haih... can't wait to actually go back to Him and away from all this... =D
So scary right that sometime you are just neither hot nor cold. Hahaha... whenever I find myself that way I am quite scared that I will stay that way.In the bible is like God said that He rather let us be hot or cold then be luke-warms .... scary la dei ! Sometimes I need God to just give me a push to step out of luke-warmness... a push hard enough to make me realize where I am in life. Haih... can't wait to actually go back to Him and away from all this... =D
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Grow !
Life.Hope.Love.
Today Szet Anne was taking about growth , individual and Aspirers growth . Erm .... during worship they had a slide show on titled "A Call To Anguish " and what really spoke to me "...was revival will not come unless we are anguish , broken..." . And what really came to me was like , to be honest , sometimes I am afraid to be broken. I knew that if I follow God , I will be broken and I am scared of that. But what I learned today is that I don't have to be scared cause God is with me , I mean I have heard this so many times but yet it is true .
I am an only Christian in my class and sometimes when people ask me about Christianity , I would chicken out.Seriously. Sometimes I am scared cause I am alone but another thing i learn today is I NEED to learn to be Andrew and not Phillip . Jesus told Peter to get some food cause the people ( around 2000 men) were hungry . Peter was like " But Master , it is impossible to feed all these men " and Andrew came in bringing the food just as Jesus had ask. We have to have faith even though You do not know what God's plan is. And to go through this , I need to have the prinsip , " Though none go with me , I will still follow. " Without this , we will fall apart.
Today Szet Anne was taking about growth , individual and Aspirers growth . Erm .... during worship they had a slide show on titled "A Call To Anguish " and what really spoke to me "...was revival will not come unless we are anguish , broken..." . And what really came to me was like , to be honest , sometimes I am afraid to be broken. I knew that if I follow God , I will be broken and I am scared of that. But what I learned today is that I don't have to be scared cause God is with me , I mean I have heard this so many times but yet it is true .
I am an only Christian in my class and sometimes when people ask me about Christianity , I would chicken out.Seriously. Sometimes I am scared cause I am alone but another thing i learn today is I NEED to learn to be Andrew and not Phillip . Jesus told Peter to get some food cause the people ( around 2000 men) were hungry . Peter was like " But Master , it is impossible to feed all these men " and Andrew came in bringing the food just as Jesus had ask. We have to have faith even though You do not know what God's plan is. And to go through this , I need to have the prinsip , " Though none go with me , I will still follow. " Without this , we will fall apart.
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